quails tell tales

I manage to spit out some more words onto my blog. They are always so spaced apart. AND it is always raining when I do. Why is that? The rain must help me think. 

Blogging during the year at this point is pretty much a lost cause. I always have papers to write, or projects to be doing, or activities to be planing for the little kiddies. I am absolutely LOVING the field that I chose to go into - working with children is the perfect job for me and I couldn’t be happier with it. 

I got the job mentioned in the last post! It’s old news to me now but it’s a great job. I sit around and answer phones, so that leaves lots of time for reading (finally) and writing papers when I need to. I’ve also picked up another summer job, which is so much fun and pays really well. I’m working with two boys with Down’s Syndrome for a family who adopts disabled children. These boys are incredible! They are such a riot to work with because they have such personalities. :) I look forward to every day I get to spend with them. I’m thinking that once I finish my program working with kids, I’ll do another few years to specialize in working with children with disabilities. It’s so rewarding, and they are just adorable. It’s only been a few weeks and I already feel attached to them. I’m looking forward to the summer ahead. 

I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months now, which seems like such an accomplishment. He is perfect. He treats me really well, and he is a great guy, and we have a lot of fun together. And he’s extremely handsome, which is nothing to complain about. ;) Everything has been great, but I do have the little voice in the back of my head wondering if things are going to work. They have no reason not to, I guess, but I wonder if he feels the same way for me as I do for him. I mean, I know he doesn’t right now… but I wonder if he will get there. I find myself having dreams so often either doubting his feelings for me, or of me still having feelings for people who were around months ago. I don’t know if either of those are true or if it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I do know that I love him. I feel it whenever I’m with him, and that’s a nice thing to feel considering I felt like I wouldn’t fall in love again after my last long term relationship. Maybe that’s normal, in a relationship, to doubt how the other person feels. To fear them not loving you. Maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. But I hope he will love me and I hope this works. Because I really am happier in this relationship than I’ve been in a long time. And that’s saying something - I am surprised that I can actually have a relationship where things are stable day to day, where there isn’t fighting and I don’t feel horrible about myself just as often as I feel happy and in love. This is what a happy relationship feels like, and I love that. :)

I’ve also learned things about myself int he past few months. I’ve learned that I come on way too strong. I learned that from my fella now, but thankfully he is also the come-on-too-strong type so he understood it and still wanted to be with me after a month. That probably would have been really good to know previously, because I would have mucked up less opportunities for myself. I still regret coming on too strong at the end of last summer. I ruined a good thing there too. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, but I still lost what could have been a good friendship out of that one. I guess that’s living and learning. You need to lose some things to gain other things. You need to hurt to heal.
C’est la vie. 

We’ll see if I write again in another few months. Haha. 

did-you-kno:

Source

Anonymous asked: I find you very attractive, and I feel like I have seen you around before, possibly at the rack. :) but I might just be crazy and In that case you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Well thanks! Do you really think you’ve seen me? That’s interesting. :) do you have a picture? Now I’m curious. haha

since i took the time to write anything down. hi tumblr! :)

i’m in a really good place right now. i lost my job and am now a good $900 short for my tuition payment. which is less than a week away. but i have a job interview on tuesday and i can take out a loan until i have the money to pay it back. solutions! i’m happy i’ve got a plan at least. :)

i miss my friends - i haven’t seen anyone in a while and i’m always so happy that i do when we actually get together. but i have plans this week to see people that i miss. and classes start again in 6 days - so i’ll soon be able to see my girls every single day. :) that will be really nice.

i’ve got a nice fella in my life right now. needless to say that makes me smile. and i’m looking forward to whatever will come our way in 2012. hopefully i can spend a good chunk of it with him. :) 

christmas was wonderful. i miss having family time! i guess there will be more room for that now that i’m not working every single day. that’s my favourite thing about christmas… getting presents doesn’t make you feel half as good as spending the day with your family. <3 

and tomorrow is new year’s eve. already! this year went by so quickly. i experienced so much this year but wouldn’t trade any of it. i learned a lot. i grew as a person. and i’m hoping that in the upcoming year i’m able to become a better person. there are some things i need to work on to do that. but we’ll get there. all in good time. :)

i finally got around to blogging. yay me! 

Ralph Gleason

looking awful and feeling great. <3

i have a huge final project due tomorrow, and i am perusing the internet. 

I had a wonderful day. went to visit my beautiful friend kori in the hospital. her strength and positivity amazes me and i am so proud of her. and it was just nice to catch up with an old friend. i ought to do more of that.

also spent some time talking with someone new. not so much catching up but beginning to understand. people are tricky to figure out. but i feel like we’re starting to get on the same page with each other which is nice. i stress about new people in my life. i always worry i’m going to do something wrong and wreck everything. but i guess it’s going well which is relieving. i think i need to relax a bit more on this one. and learn to trust myself a bit.

also FINALLY talk to my nearest and dearest, shawn. he’s got me all worried about him now but i’m trying to convince myself it’s nothing to worry about. i was thinking about it tonight and i can honestly say that i love him more than anything. he is family to me. funny how a best friend can truly feel like a part of you. my heart aches when we don’t see each other. i can’t wait until we can hang out again. in fact, i can’t wait to talk to him tomorrow, so that we can both stop worrying our little heads about things that shouldn’t be worried about.

on a side note, famoso has the best pizza i’ve ever tasted. 

and on a side, side note, I really need to go do this project unless i want to fail university. later, tumblites.  

i am lonely tonight. i can not comprehend why someone hasn’t thought, “hey, maybe i should go cuddle her to death right now.”

seems like common sense to me. haha. 

until the day i die.

(Source: wolf-teeth, via octoberdahlia)